I need help removing her.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
