i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize