Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
