You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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