Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
