This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
