i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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