I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
