My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
