it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
