You're earring is so big in my mouth
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
