Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My room smells like vodka and shame
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
