you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
