i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
