It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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