We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
