I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize