I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
