If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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