I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
