how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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