all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
So vagazzling was a success
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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