He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
