She's JV to your varsity
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
