I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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