Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
