I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
