he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
