Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
being pregnant is like rehab
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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