Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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