I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize