whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
