Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
