i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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