Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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