i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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