Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize