Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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