you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
