i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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