So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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