I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
