I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
