and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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