If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
