Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
