do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
