What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
