How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
