I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
