Heybabeimwearingurpanties
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
