I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It's shark week go big or go home
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
