As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Someone signed my nipple.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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