oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
