your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
