I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize