I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
