He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize