He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
