We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
In other news, I just burned my penis
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
