Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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