okay pat passed out under dana's car
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
