nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
