i can't believe i had my finger in that
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
