honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
