Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
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It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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